EIDBT – April 11, 2011
God damn, the world must be punishing me for moving. First day in the new city and I’m already not feeling well. Whatever, I said I’d do this, so I might as well not start off by missing a day.
Hey everyone (probably only those of you from my last school… let’s be honest), I’m Ooma Nakao. That’s spelt 多真 悠郎, with 多 as in “many”, 真 as in “truth”, 悠 as in “distant” 郎 as in “son”. My first name really applies now… My family has left overseas to do business in Canada, while I’m stuck in some hick town in the sticks. For the benefit of those of you who for some strange reason stumbled onto this blog, I’ll explain:
My family travels for business a lot. I’ve been shunted all over Japan while their company assigns them to long-term contracts, so I’ve seen a lot of Japan, and a lot of people. It hasn’t made for a very traditional childhood, but I’m that much more prepared for the real world because of it. Anyway, this time, they didn’t want to take me out of the country, so they sent me off to Inaba for the year that they’re going to be gone to live with my uncle Dojima Ryotaro. What’s that, you haven’t heard of Inaba? Neither has anyone else who lives in an even remotely populated place. When I left my last school, some of the people there said that I should set up a blog to keep track of my fuuuuuunnnn year in exciting nowheresville. Blogging is kind of stupid, but I figure that I’ll oblige them for a while at least.
Anyway, let’s get to the first day already.
The night before I left, I had a really strange dream. It seemed so vivid, so it’s really stuck in my head. Not as strange or nearly as awesome as my usual dreams, but maybe noteworthy. They say premonitions can be true sometimes, so what the hell. I ‘woke up’ in this swanky stretch limo (hey, I love myself, what can I say). It was really decked out, too. It had a mini-bar, and this weirdly-designed light set into the roof. I eventually realized that there were two people sitting across from me; a man and a woman. The guy was sitting facing me; he looked like he was the guy in charge. All I can really say about him is that he was creepy as fuck. His nose was like a foot long, and he had bulging, blood-shot eyes. The chick sitting next to him had her side to me. It just screamed “secretary”. Anyway, all of a sudden, the guy started to speak with this creepy rapist voice. Like “come to my van, I have yummy candy” creepy rapist. He told me that the pimped out limo was a place that only special people (you know it) can enter, those who are bound by a contract. I briefly wondered if it was a contract that had a “you can’t press charges when we rape you” clause or two. If that wasn’t creepy enough, he offered to give me a tarot card reading.
“Do you believe in fortune telling? Each reading is done with the same cards, yet the result is always different… Life itself follows the same principles, doesn’t it?”
Not really, dude. I was never dealt the poverty card, or for that matter, the butt-fucking-ugly card, like you apparently drew. He dream-summoned some Tarot cards on the table in front of him. Now, I know what Tarot cards ARE, but I have no idea how they actually work, so this part might just be my subconscious fucking with me. He flipped one.
“Hmm… The Tower in the upright position represents the immediate future. It seems a terrible catastrophe is imminent.”
The card is of a crumbling tower, so I mean, I can get that. Creepy Rapist flipped over the next card.
“The moon, in the upright position. This card represents ‘hesitation’ and ‘mystery’… very interesting indeed. It seems you will encounter a misfortune at your destination, and a great mystery will be imposed upon you. In the coming days, you will enter into a contract of some sort, after which you will return here. The coming year is a turning point in your destiny… If the mystery goes unsolved, your future may be forever lost. My duty is to provide assistance to our guests to ensure that does not happen.”
To be honest, I’m not sure if my brain decided to run with the fake reading it gave myself, or if it was driving itself to that in the first place, but I must be having some moving anxiety or something. Anyway, I woke up, and I eventually took off to the train station.
When I got to the train, that annoying as hell commercial was on with that idol. You know the one I’m talking about? No? Because there are too many of them? Exactly! I think this one was “Risette” selling some bogus “Calorie Magic” drink or something. I’m sure she got her figure by drinking pop. I swear, celebrity or not, I’m going to find some way to show at least one of these living PR products how the real world is sometime. I don’t think it’ll be pretty. The news kicked back in, talking about how some reporter was having an affair with some politician. I tuned out at that point. Sorry, I’m not keeping you up-to-date with the latest stupid scandal. I must have dozed off again during the trip, because I saw these flashes of a woman I swear I’ve seen before being attacked, and the creeper duo again.
When I finally arrived in Inaba, Ryotaro was there to meet me, along with his daughter, Nanako. I don’t feel fully comfortable with calling the guy Ryotaro yet, so I’m just going to refer to him by his family name, Dojima. That might be because as soon as I met him, he kept the creeper train moving by commenting that I was “more handsome in persona than in [my] photo”, and that he still remembers me when I was in diapers. Note to self: never be alone with Dojima. Or schlong-nose Igor either, while I’m at it, even if it IS a dream. Nanako was being really shy for some reason. I wonder how much the old man lets her be around other people.
We stopped off for gas on our way back, and Nanako redeemed herself a bit in my eyes; the gas station attendant tried to explain to her which direction left was, and she gave some snarky remark back. Maybe she’s not so bad after all, eh? After being told off by a grade schooler, the attendant turned her attention to me. Dojima had already told her that I was new in town, so she offered me a job. I’m not really too fond of working, but hey, a player needs cash to treat the ladies to nights out, and I doubt I can be as much of a drain on Dojima as I could my parents, so I said I’d think about it. We shook hands as a sign of understanding.
By the time Nanako came back, I wasn’t feeling too hot. I don’t know if it was just the break from traveling that brought it on, or something else, but even the kid could see that something wasn’t right, so we came home. Because Dojima wanted to make a good impression on me, we had take-out and pop for dinner. Real high-class, don’t you know. Partway through dinner, Dojima got called away for business. He made a comment under his breath saying it was a good thing he skipped the booze tonight. If the only thing keeping him from having a lampshade hat is being called away for business, maybe it’s a good thing if he gets called away, you know? I really hope I don’t have to play babysitter for Nanako for a year while Dojima is off getting sloshed. I kinda suspect that that’s how things run though, because Nanako seems on top of the laundry (to the point where Dojima seemed ready to scold her if she didn’t take it in from drying in time to avoid the rain today). Anyway, turns out he’s a detective. Interesting… having a cop in the family either means lots of trouble for me, or a free ride. I should try and get on his good side.
Nanako got tired of the news ONCE AGAIN talking about that inane gossip story, and turned to a different channel. A Junes commercial happened to be playing, and Nanako sang along to it. It was… surprisingly cute. I always considered that chain store jingle to be annoying, but now…
Anyway, after that, she quieted down. I still wasn’t feeling full, so I took a look through the fridge. There was some leftover fried rice in it, so I helped myself. Hey, the detective said to make myself at home, so why wait? I kind of regretted it though… It was almost unnaturally tasteless. If this is the food that is actually made in this house, I might start eating out pretty soon. After finishing up, I headed upstairs to my room after checking the weather forecast. My room’s not that interesting, really. I’ve got a bookshelf, TV and dresser, a work table, a sofa, a study desk, and my futon. All told, nothing to write home about (wait…). I dug out my laptop so that I could write this entry, but now that I’m done, I think it’s time to head to sleep. Catch you guys tomorrow. It’s the first day of school, so I bet I’ll have at least one interesting thing to write about.