EIDBT – June 11, 2011 – Real family

I don’t know what it is about this trip…  Being forced into a new family situation is really throwing off my definitions of what a family really is.

After school, Chie and I went down to the floodplains to train for a bit. We didn’t really do much more than train and talk for a bit. Disappointing… maybe she’s stalling before she finally confesses to me.

When I got home, I decided to spend some time hanging out with Nanako.
We ended up watching a documentary about a man trying to find his real father. Nanako seemed enthralled by the program though. She eventually started talking to me.
We’re watching a TV documentary about a guy trying to find his real father.
“What do they mean by ‘real’?” After Dojima’s quip about how being related by blood doesn’t make a family, I decided to tell her it was someone you love a lot.
“Oh, okay… Then you’re my real big brother.” Damnit that’s cute. “And Dad’s my real father!” Phew. For a while, I was wondering… “… But I don’t think Dad really loves me… Maybe… Maybe I’m not ‘real’ to him? Daddy doesn’t come home because I’m not his ‘real’ daughter?” I asked her if he had actually told her that. “…No.” That calmed her down a bit. “Mom… Why’d she leave me? …When Mom was still here, we all went out together… We picked flowers at Samegawa…” As she talked about her memories of her mother, I felt that I understood her troubles a bit more… As normal, voices in my head told me that we had become closer.
I saw that Nanako wanted to be with me for a little longer, so I decided to just talk to her for a while. We ended up playing a word game for a while.

This is getting kind of confusing. I’ve certainly felt closer to Nanako and Dojima than my parents lately. What does that mean? Does that mean that Nanako and Dojima are more my family now than my biological parents? I don’t know. I don’t know.


~ by buncythefrog on February 5, 2011.

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